A new word for my vocabulary
These incorrect word usages are actually called malapropisms: Absurd or humorous misuse of a word, especially by confusion with one of similar sound.
Inn core wrecked word you sages 11-15
Correct: Bear with me asks the other person to be patient.
Incorrect: Bare with me is an invitation to undress.
Which leads me to mention that it is bare-naked, not bear-naked.
Correct: Flesh out the idea means to develop it further.
Incorrect: Flush out the idea. (You flush out birds from the bushes.)
Correct: To give free rein means to give a person freedom to act.
Incorrect: To give free reign.
Correct: For all intents and purposes which means for all practical purposes.
Incorrect: For all intensive purposes.
Correct: Hit-or-miss means that something will either happen or not happen.
Incorrrect: Hit-and-miss means that something will both happen and not happen.
Inn core wrecked word you sages 9-10
Affect means that you influence something. “Rain has an affect on temperature.”
Effect means a result. “The effect of varying atmospheric pressure is wind.”
Just remember: When you affect a situation, you have an effect on it.
Accept means to receive. “He will accept the gift.”
Except means to exclude. “Everyone except John is hungry.”
Just remember: Everyone except Jane will accept responsibility.
Inn core wrecked word you sages 7-8
Here are two commonly mispronounced phrases.
Correct: Can hardly wait means that I am having trouble waiting.
Incorrect: Can’t hardly wait means that I am not having trouble waiting.
Hardly means scarcely or barely and is negative. So it makes the second example a double negative and switches the meaning.
Correct: Couldn’t care less means that my caring could not be lower.
Incorrect: Could care less means that my caring is not at its lowest point.
Inn core wrecked word you sages 4-6
Whose is possessive. “Whose toys are those?”
Who’s is a contraction of who is. “Who’s going with me?”
Just remember: Who’s going to find out whose car that is?
Were is a verb. “They were going on vacation.”
We’re is a contraction of we are. “We’re going to the restaurant.”
Just remember: We’re touring where they were quarrying stone.
Where involves location. “Where is the car show?”
Wear involves clothing. “You should wear the blue shirt today.”
Ware involves merchandise. “The potter is selling his wares.”
Just remember: Where is the painter that wears tie-dye selling his wares.
Inn core wrecked word you sages 1-3
How do I list all the incorrect word usages found in Web posts?
Since getting people to correct their grammar is about like getting them to eat their vegetables, let’s go with the rule of 3-5 servings per day.
Your is possessive. “Is that your car?”
You’re is a contraction of you are. “You’re crazy!”
Just remember: You’re touching your toes.
Its is possessive. “The group dropped its lawsuit.”
It’s is a contraction of it is. “It’s about time you got home!”
Just remember: It’s fun to watch a dog chase its tail.
There is used mostly for location. “Put the package over there.”
Their is possessive. “Their car is in the garage.”
They’re is a contraction of they are. “They’re going shopping.”
There’re is a contraction of there are. “There’re ten pins in bowling.”
Just remember: There’re people concerned that they’re risking their lives over there.
Woulda, coulda, shoulda
The following “verbs” do not exist:
Woulda, coulda, shoulda, would of, could of, should of and must of.
The proper words are:
would have, could have, should have and must have.
For example, when would have is turned into a contraction, would’ve, and then written the way it sounds, you would incorrectly write would of. Let the ve in the contraction remind you that it stands for have.
Apostrophes
One final pet peeve concerning apostrophes incorrectly used with plurals.
Almost all plurals that are not possessives do not use apostrophes.
Use PCs, not PC’s.
Use TVs, not TV’s.
Use tacos, not taco’s.
Use hundreds, not hundred’s.
Use pizzas, not pizza’s.
Use “Way to go, Vikings!” not “Way to go, Viking’s!”
Exceptions are the plurals of letters and numbers.
There are two s’s in that word.
She dots all her i’s and crosses all her t’s.
My son can say his 1’s, 2’s, and 3’s in five different languages.
Three posts are more than enough to spend on these misused apostrophes and might even cause you to join this group:
Lets discard the apostrophe. Its pointless.
Apostrophes
Apostrophes (‘) are used for three reasons: possession (boy’s bike), contraction (don’t) or omission (Rock ‘n’ Roll). Today I’ll cover contractions and omissions.
For both contractions and omissions, the apostrophe replaces the missing letter.
Contraction examples would be:
you’re for you are, where it replaces the a in are
it’s for it is where the apostrophe replaces the i in is
Omission examples would be:
gone fishin’ where the apostrophe replaces the g
pot o’ gold where the apostrophe replaces the f
rock ’n’ roll where the apostrophe replaces the a and d in and
In a date when part of the year is left out, the apostrophe needs to indicate the missing year. In the 80s would mean the temperature; In the ‘80s would mean the decade.
Apostrophes
Apostrophes (’) are used for three reasons: possession (boy’s bike), contraction (don’t) or omission (Rock ’n’ Roll). Today I’ll cover possession.
If the owner is singular, add the apostrophe before the s. The boy’s book.
If the owner is plural, add the apostrophe after the s. The girls’ sleepover.
If the owner is plural without an s, add ’s. The women’s room.
It the owner is it, do not add an apostrophe. The court said its decision was fair.
Do not add an apostrophe on plural words that are not possessive. The dogs barked.